It's really more of a 'hatehate' thing
by Niki-the-awesome
Summary: Alfred and Ivan watch as their two presidents meet one another on live television. All is calm, before Ivan kicks Alfred underneath the table. The epic battle of footsies has begun...


I was bored. Wrote a random story thingy. Inspired by The_Daydreaming story 'Bone Jumping' which takes place in a conference but…it is more sexual touching then 'I will kill you' touching =D It is super awesome GO READ IT NOW

I don't own Hetalia

**VVV**

His left shoulder shook, his eyes popping open again before slowly beginning to fall.

He was at…some…meeting. He honestly couldn't even remember. Pretty much his boss and Russia's boss were now putting on a show for the rest of the world that said 'look! We aren't going to try to nuke one another anymore!' And everyone was happy and they had a huge party afterwards.

Awesome.

Yah, no.

At least, the two leaders appeared to be getting along well enough. Alfred couldn't really tell. Or, he would have been able to notice if a certain SOMEONE wouldn't keep KICKING him underneath the freakin' TABLE!

"Stop it!" Alfred hissed, suddenly turning to the taller man. Russia slowly turned his eyes to Alfred, his lids half closed in boredom.

"What?"

"I said quit it!"

"Quit what?" Ivan shrugged and sighed, "I did not do anything. Perhaps if you weren't such a spaz, you wouldn't be reacting to such small incidents-"

"You admit it!"

"I admit nothing."

Alfred scoffed and looked away, his head in his hands as he looked back to his boss. On camera they were shaking hands and talking about something of vital importance…

Probably nukes.

It was always about the friggin nukes.

Ivan tapped Alfred once more underneath the table, this time causing the American to turn to him fully.

"What is your problem?" He attempted to whisper as the show went on in front of them. Ivan chuckled.

"I did not do anything, I told you. You should stop lying comrade it is very rude-"

"I am NOT a liar and I am not your friend!"

"You should be quit, lest we interrupt the historical moment." Alfred made a move to tell the other off, but Ivan held his finger to his lips and shook his head. Alfred growled and turned back to the leaders and cameras once more.

It wasn't like the camera's where on THEM or anything! The nations these days had about as much control over their countries as the UK's queen…which wasn't a lot.

Ivan and Alfred had their moment where they acted all friendly (but did NOT hug and absolutely REFUSED, even when the reporters jokingly asked them too) and now their turn was over. Now it was time for the big shots to have their fun, acting all buddy-buddy to one another when on the inside, who knew what was going on. Hell, maybe tomorrow Obama would give the order to turn Russia into a barren wasteland.

Alfred glanced outside and smiled.

So, pretty much the same place, only on fire.

He snickered at his joke before Ivan kicked him again under the table. Alfred bit his lip and inhaled sharply, his eyes darting over to the Russian to gently folded his hands on the table, his thumbs twirling around innocently as-

Alfred kicked him back.

Ivan gave him a shocked expression before it slowly turned into a cool smile. He gently pushed Alfred's foot away, as if to say 'do you really want to take me on?'

'you bet. You're goin DOWN mother russ-'

Ivan slammed the side of his foot into Alfred's calf causing Alfred to let out a hiss. He mouthed a rather indecent comment to his opponent before kicking his own heel in the other's direction.

And it was all out war after that.

Their feet moved quickly, small bruises beginning to form underneath their dress pants as they continued. To anyone else, it would have looked rather ridiculous, but this was just how Alfred and Ivan played. It relieved tension, and it was better than actually stabbing one another. During the cold war, Alfred and Ivan would even get together at times just to 'roughhouse' (as others' would call it…though, when Alfred roughhoused with what's his face, they usually just ended up in a truce while laughing. However, when roughhousing with Ivan, they were generally left with black eyes and bloody noses…aw man, this one time, Alfred TOTALLY smashed a chair over Ivan's back and took out his shoulder-)

Alfred let out a small yelp before covering his mouth in his hands. He shot a look to his side, where Ivan had tickled his ribs, the hand now recoiled to the smiling figure.

'you FIEND!' Alfred's eyes screamed as Ivan chuckled.

'All is fair in war my friend-'

'I thought we had a no tickling rule established!'

'That was then, this is now.'

'oh, well, if that's the case-' Alfred reached over and tugged on Ivan's scarf. He growled and slapped Alfred's hand away.

'Don't you EVER touch that!'

'Whateve's MAN!' Alfred went in to grab the object again when Ivan yanked on Alfred's tie, choking the other.

Alfred jabbed Ivan's side.

Ivan kicked Alfred under the table.

Alfred stomped on Ivan's foot before Ivan yanked again on his tie. Alfred slammed his knee into the other and as Ivan made a move to grab Alfred's sides, he suddenly leaned back in his chair and brought his feet up above the table, kicking Ivan hard square in the stomach. He overdid it a bit though, because Ivan suddenly flew from the chair and hit the ground, swearing as he fell.

"SUCK IT DUDE!" Alfred cried as he leapt up, then pointing down at the Russian. He laughed and placed his hands on his hips, before a camera flashed.

He looked to the right, where a photographer stared at him wide eyed.

The reporters gaped at him.

The camera dude just stared at him in a horrified expression and-

Oh god…

He turned slowly to the two leaders, their hands mid-shake as they looked over at the young country. The look on their faces was….

Um…

Oh…hey…look at the time…

"So…uh….yah…this is….so Ivan and I-" Alfred was cut off by said Russian tackling him to the ground.

**VVVV**

"I can't even BELIEVE YOU!" Some lady scolded (though, Alfred had to admit that he had NO idea who she was, or why she had the right to tell him off), "Do you two even know what you've done?"

"Alfred…I just can't believe you…" Barack sighed, rubbing his temples as he slowly shook his head. Alfred pouted.

"But, I was DEFENDING AMERICA sir! This RUSKI kept kicking me!"

"I deny that-"

"Well you shouldn't have kicked him BACK!"

"Ivan…you know better than to act like that child." Dmitry sighed, not even looking Ivan in the face. Ivan shrugged and smiled.

"It was fun. I wanted to rile him up."

"Please, do not do that next time."

"I promise nothing sir."

"Um, you two do know that we can speak Russian too right?" Alfred asked, looking Dmitry in the eye. The president looked at him for a moment, before turning back to Russia, continuing on in his mother tongue.

"This could ruin our image. You look like two high school girls playing."

"But we were playing-"

"We were FIGHTING dude! There is a difference!"

"That's not how they see it." Barack mumbled, switching on the small, back room television. The four (or five, counting the random 'press' lady) of them looked at the screen as a snap shot of Ivan and Alfred appeared on the screen along with the a newswoman. They were playfully tapping on another's feet under the table. The look on their faces was of anger and also…

Ok…

They were right..

Teenage giddiness.

"It's not what it looks like-"

"Oh look! Alfred you are blushing!"

"Am not! I never blush during war-"

"We are not AT war Alfred," Dmitry growled, shaking his head, "And we do not WANT people to think that we are!"

"That image is certainly not one of war." Ivan mumbled. And as if on cue, the picture on the news channel changed. Now it was of Ivan straddling Alfred, both pulling on one another's hair.

"I wouldn't necessarily say THAT is a picture of war either…" Barack sighed as Alfred shot up from the couch.

"Oh COME ON! THAT'S the picture they chose? What about that sweet kick I gave Ivan? That was like, so totally BADASS!"

"I can't deal with this right now." Dmitry mumbled as he wandered out of the room, Barack sighing and going after the man (but not before shooting Alfred a dirty look). As the two left, the strange woman turned to them.

"Well I hope you two are happy! Either the whole world will think we're about to enter nuclear war, or they'll think you two are screwing each other!" Alfred and Ivan both looked at her, a similar expression on both their faces.

"Who are you?" Ivan asked, looking her up and down. She gawked and gave a 'hmph' before leaving the room. Now alone, they both stared up at the news station which talked all about the events.

"- playing footsies under the table during the important meeting of-"

"I guess we did a number on this one, huh?" Alfred asked as Ivan nodded.

"Yes…it appears that many people are not too pleased with our public display of, ah, hatred."

Both were silent again before a brief video began to play of the two of them rolling around on the floor, swearing and hitting one another as the police came in to break them up. Alfred chuckled.

"Too bad they had to split us up, it really must hurt your pride."

"What?"

"The fact that I kicked your butt on live television in your own home turf." Russia giggled while shaking his head.

"Your head is so clogged with cholesterol that you fail to notice that it is you who lost that round, my dear."

"Did not!" Russia placed a finger to his own lips as if in thought, before turning back to Alfred.

"Mmm, yes. You did."

"Says who?"

"Says myself."

"On what ground?" Ivan stared at Alfred for a moment before leaning down and quickly yanking his tie, causing the American to choke suddenly.

"This ground." Alfred pulled away from Ivan.

Then punched him in the face.

**VVV**

**Author notes:**

Their like two kids really. Always fighting each other XD. I was bored, decided to write this. Hope it didn't suck out of control. Who is that random woman? I don't even know, she just kind of appeared in the story man -_-


End file.
